Author Archive

You’re doing Arts? So when did you decide to become a waitress?

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“Arts? Oh. Well. And you do think that’s useful?” Even my friend’s practiced British politeness couldn’t cover up his disdain. Social etiquette forbade me from thrusting a boiled potato up his nose. I… Continue reading

Tales from Ceylon

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So I’m in Sri Lanka, although I keep calling it Ceylon because my parents still live the imperial dream. Thanks Dad. This post is about how white, pretentious young things, a bit like… Continue reading

When girls ‘Do Coffee’

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The Love of Lingerie

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In geography in year 10, my teacher asked the class to name different types of shop. I was a disgustingly arrogant upstart, desperate to prove her intelligence. So when everyone had done the… Continue reading

Cracked Christmas

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I think we British people compensate for all the emotional repression by going a bit nuts at Christmas. Well. British nuts. As in drinking too much baileys and giggling at undies ads on… Continue reading

The attraction of Pitbull

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People are always amazed by the fact I love Pitbull. I get it. I’m a feminist. 50% of Pitbull’s lyrics refer to breasts. The objectification isn’t easily missed. And lyrical subtlety isn’t Pitbull’s… Continue reading